In our life.

There is a difference. Control is born from fear, not love. When raising children we need to provide 

guidance, boundaries and safety for them to flourish. We as adults have the same needs. When we 

love and care for someone we concern ourselves with their well being also. Many of us try to achieve

perfection in every aspect of our lives. This applies particularly to relationships. When we fail, we do 

not question our perfectionism we simply try to control even more. Perfectionism is nothing but a 

lack of trust, and lack of trust originates in fear. With raising children that fear is our concern they 

will not turn out to be the type of person that we want them to be. Often it comes from the worry that 

people will judge us not to be a good parent. Therefore, we put more time and effort into being the 

perfect parent. As adults, we transfer our need to be perfect on to our adult roles. We work hard to 

be the perfect employee, the perfect partner, and the list goes on.

It is hard enough controlling ourselves without the added burden of controlling others. I will let you 

in on a little secret, being the Policeman of the Universe is exhausting! Don't get me wrong, it is 

possible to have everything you want in your life. You simply do not get there by being controlling. 

Trying to control your life is like trying to control the weather. Look at the level of concern there has 

been on the lack of rain lately. The focus on lack caused worry not rain. The rain came when it was 

ready. Surrendering to that, trusting in that takes the pressure off.

Acceptance of life and acceptance of your circumstances 

releases the pressure. Trying to control everyone in an 

attempt to control every outcome does not lead to happiness.

 It stifles your creativity, and dims your light. If 

loved ones feel unsafe expressing their true selves, they 

will only do what everybody else wants. You will not get to

 see their magnificence just a projection of who they think 

you want them to be. Is that what you want? This may lead 

to a 'happy' home but it comes at a very high price as they

 lose themselves in the process. This is how 'people 

pleasers' are created. Many perfectionists are people 

pleasers themselves and feel burdened by having to be and

 do so much for others.

You can choose to let go of the attachment to the outcome. You can let your light shine

 and experience the freedom that comes with that. You can listen to your inner wisdom

 that tells you that no amount of worrying will have any bearing on the result. You can 

choose love not fear. You can choose a life free from anxiety and tension.

So confused..

                                                                             

Perhaps love is the process of my gently leading you back to yourself.

  I know you think you broke my heart, but I knew your game right from the start. I saw your game, I can play it too, stupid player, the joke's on YOU!  

  The only feeling of real loss Is when you love someone More than you love your self.  

  Love goes toward love.  

  May they who love you be like the sun when

it rises in its strength.  

  That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another....

  If we seek to manifest love by utilizing our inherent abilities to serve others in whatever we are doing, we find the greatest opportunity for development, for then we are giving expression to our love for our neighbors and ourselves.  

  I alone am the one you don't know you need...You don't know you need me.   

  Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes.There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.

  

  The Grand essentials of happiness are: something

to do, something to love, and something to hope for.  

  We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.   

  It takes a minute to meet someone, an hour to get know them, aybe even a day to love them. But a lifetime to forget about them. 

  Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort

of feeling safe with a person; having neither

to weigh thoughts nor measure words,

but to pour them all out, just as they are,

chaff and grain together, knowing that

a faithful hand will take and sift them,

keep what is worth keeping, and then,

with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.  

  An archeologist is the best husband any woman

can have; the older she gets, the more interested

he is in her.  

  No disguise can long conceal love where it exists, or long feign it where it is lacking.

 

The people you want?

People change

People change with time. Time is what changes people. Every year brings several changes since we have to adapt according to our surroundings and go with the flow of things. Some people change superficially in terms of their looks. You might be going for makeover or a complete transformation. You feel like changing your wardrobe, working on your over all personality and appearance. Some people undergo drastic transformations. Other kind of changes comes internally, related to our qualities. Some people become proud and arrogant once they acquire some name and fame. They start looking down upon their subordinates. We say that time and money has shown some negative influence on such people.  “Some people change when they think they're a star or something.”

May

Fake Friends

                                                                   

Detox your life by clearing out fake friends, dead-end jobs, and players posing as life partners.

There are lots of haters in the world. I'm sure we all have our share of them. But one thing I've learned in all these years is that you can't get ahead if you'll try to get even. As hard as it can be sometimes, you just have to be better. You won't be happy trying to make other people miserable anyway. Just live your life to the fullest and forget the enemy. Remember, the best revenge is to forgive, live well and succeed. Nothing drives people crazier than seeing someone have a good life! Anyway, here's some quotes I wanted to share with you if you happen to have haters or fake friends. 

1.) Deep down some of your so called friends don't want the best for you. They sleep better when they know you're not sleeping well.

2.) Fake friends believe in rumors. Real friends believe in you.

3.) It's not how many friends you have, it's the quality of friends you have.

4.) Be careful of those who pat you on the back. They might be looking for a soft spot to plant the knife.

5.) Friends are like boobs, some are big, some are small, some are real while some are fake.

6.) When you're up in life, your friends get to know who you are. When you're down in life, you get to know who your friends are!

7.) People who talk shit to you, usually talk shit about you.

8.) Be careful of who you pick as a friend, most people pretend to listen, but are only gathering information to judge you with.

9.) It's so ironic. The people in my life who say, 'I'm always going to be here for you.' are the ones that walk away first.

10.) Fake friends are easy to find and easy to loose but real friends are the hardest to find and hardest to lose.

11.) Fake friends are autumn leaves; they are scattered everywhere.

12.) Fake friends believe your fake smile, true friends see the tears your hiding inside.

13.) True friends are always there for you. Fake friends only appear when they need something from you.

14.) Its funny how; The one person you'd take a bullet for tends to always be the one behind the gun.

15.) Fake friends are no different than shadows, they stick around during your brightest moments, but disappear during your darkest hours.

16.) Since when did BFF stand for 'backstabbing fake friend?"

17.) The most fake thing I have ever seen is watching two girls meet each other for the first time.

18.) The less people you chill with, the less problems you deal with.

19.) I'd rather be a friendless loser, than have a bunch of friends who secretly hate me.

20.) In your life you will deal with hurt, disappointments , heartaches , headaches, heartbreaks , liars, cheaters, players, fake friends, scandalous females, trust issues, backstabbers , gossipers , and most importantly deceitfulness. you have to expect a punch and take a Tylenol , have dirt thrown on you and brush it off, be tripped but stand up stronger than ever. 

21.) There's no point of having tons of friends who won't be there when you're down.

22.) A fake friend calls when they need something. A real friend calls to ask if you're in need.

23.) Guess I must have some kind of brain injury. Cause I stupidly thought that this fake friendship might be real.

24.) Some people they only remember me when they are broke, hungry and need shelter.

25.) In the end, you'll realize you only have a few true friends. But that's better than having many fake ones.

26.) There's always those friends who are secretly happy to see you fall down. No friends are worse than them.

27.) Best friends are like diamonds, *precious* and *rare*. False friends are like leaves, found everywhere.

28.) You gotta deal with the shit people do. Not everyone in life is gonna stay true.

29.) What goes around comes around. That's what people say. So all the pain you caused me will come back to you someday. 

30.) Neither of us meant for things to be this way. If things went differently, maybe we'd still talk today.

31.) No one stays true. It's like an addiction because ain't no one real, it's all fiction. 

32.) Sometimes growing up - means growing a P A R T. 

33.) Some say that time changes, best friends can become strangers.

34.) Nowadays there's no honor, only drama. Your friend today can be your enemy tomorrow.

35.) Another lesson learned. Better know your friends or else you'll get *burned*

36.) What upsets me is not that you lied to me, but that from now on I can longer believe you.

37.) Friends are like roses, you have to look out for the pricks!

38.) I guess in the end people become the people that they promised they'd never be. 

39.) It's funny how you can grow away from your friends, when just a few years ago they were the most important people in your life.

40.) Best friends are like bread knives, they can help you lots but they can hurt you badly too.

41.) It's never your enemies that get you. It's always your own people. 

42.) Fake people have a hard time attaching themselves to people who have good self-esteem. Because people who feel good about themselves won't put up with them.

43.) I'm sorry did my back hurt you're knife?

44.) Never turn you're back on a friend, thats the best target.

45.) While you're stabbing my back, you can kiss my ass too.

46.) All the mistakes in the world couldnt measure up to the day i thought i could trust you.

47.) Yeah, being apathetic is a pathetic way to be but I don't care, what matters to you does not matter to me. 

48.) When your up, your friends know who you are. When you're down, you know who your friends are.

49.) You can't laugh last If I stab you in the throat with the knife you left in my back.

50.) I was the one who said things changed; you were the one who proved it.

And remember, in dealing with backstabbers and haters, there's only one thing to learn. Those bitches are only powerful when your back is turned. 

Two faced people

Two faced people are those who have two shades two

 themselves. They might behave differently in front of

 you and behind you, they are completely different

 beings. They are supposed to have a split 

personality. Two faced people know how to act 

  

Two faced 

people are also called as schizophrenic. One should 

be able to identify two faced people and must deal 

with them tactfully. Two faced people usually manage 

to get the better of their peers and contemporaries. 

So, one must have the knack of identifying such 

people. 

In the words of Brian Molko, “I refuse to be 

held responsible for bringing back a wave of pasty-

faced people into the world.”

Mother's Day

                                                      Most Gracious Heavenly Father,

We thank You for our mothers to whom You have entrusted the care of every precious human life from its very beginning in the womb.

You have given to woman the capacity of participating with You in the creation of new life. Grant that every woman may come to understand the full meaning of that blessing, which gives her an unlimited capacity for selfless love for every child she may be privileged to bear, and for all Your children.

Watch over every mother who is with child, strengthen her faith in Your fatherly care and love for her and for her unborn baby. Give her courage in times of fear or pain, understanding in times of uncertainty and doubt, and hope in times of trouble. Grant her joy in the birth of her child.

To mothers You have given the great privilege and responsibility of being a child's first teacher and spiritual guide. Grant that all mothers may worthily foster the faith of their children, following the example of Mary, Elizabeth, and other holy women who follow Christ. Help mothers to grow daily in knowledge and understanding of Your Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, and grant them the wisdom to impart this knowledge faithfully to their children, and to all who depend upon them.

Assist all "spiritual mothers", those who, though they may have no children of their own, nevertheless selflessly care for the children of others -- of every age and state in life. Grant that they may know the joy of fulfilling this motherly calling of women, whether in teaching, nursing, religious life, or in other work which recognizes and fosters the true dignity of every human being created in Your image and likeness.

We beseech You to send Your Holy Spirit, the Comforter, to all mothers who sorrow for children that have died, are ill or estranged from their families, or who are in trouble or danger of any kind. Help grieving mothers to rely on Your tender mercy and fatherly love for all your children.

We ask your blessing on all those to whom You have entrusted motherhood. May Your Holy Spirit constantly inspire and strengthen them. May they ever follow the example of Mary, mother of Our Lord, and imitate her fidelity, her humility, and her self-giving love. May all mothers receive Your Grace abundantly in this earthly life, and may they look forward to eternal joy in Your presence in the life to come.

We ask this through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, world without end.
AMEN.

Gossiping

                            Gossip

"You shall not go about as a talebearer among your people..." (Lev. 19:16).

A talebearer is a person who circulates rumors that are either distortions of truth or outright lies which are designed to do mischief. God hates the one "who sows discord among brethren" (Prov. 6:16–19).

A gossip has been variously defined as: (1) a newscaster without a sponsor. (2) A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do as much damage. (3) One who turns an earful into a mouthful. (4) What no one claims to like but what everyone seems to enjoy.

In reality, gossip is telling and/or listening to something uncomplimentary about another with the wrong intent or purpose.

Understand, though, every time information is exchanged about others is not necessarily gossip. False teachers, trouble-makers, etc., must be exposed and others must be warned concerning them (1 Corinthians 11:1; 2 Tim. 4:14–15).

When Is It Gossip?

When we tell and/or listen to something uncomplimentary about someone with the attitude of entertainment. We are not telling or listening because we are sympathetic and want to help. We want to be entertained at someone else's expense. We want a good laugh over someone's weaknesses.

When we tell and/or listen in order to build up our own ego. Some people are perverted enough to make themselves feel big by trying to make others look small. "Look how bad or how stupid Joe is for doing so and so" really means "Look how good or how smart I am because I did not do such a stupid thing." The more gossips talk about another's mistakes and sins, the more they inflate their own egos.

When we tell and/or listen in order to get revenge. When we have been wronged, the Scriptures teach us to go to the offender and get things right (Matt. 18:15–17). The one who gossips would rather "get something on" the other person and spread it all around in order to have revenge. We need to remember that God will have the "last word" (Rom. 12:19). And His last word to gossips will not be pleasant for them to hear.

When we tell and/or listen for spite. We do not like some person so we like to tell or hear about their failures or problems. Do we want to help them? Never! Would we rather spite them? Every chance we get! How many good names have been tarnished because of such malice?

When we tell and/or listen to something uncomplimentary about others just to "have something to say." I once heard a preacher say, "Some think that they are being 'newsy' when they are actually being 'nosy' about other people's problems. They think they are 'passing the time' when actually they are only wasting time -- theirs and others."

What Gossip Does

It perpetuates lies that ought to have died. The overwhelming majority of hurtful rumors are false (cf. Acts 21:21). Did you ever play the game "Gossip" at a party. It's the one where someone whispers something to a person at the head of a line who, in turn, whispers it to the one next in line, etc.? If you have, you know that anything that is repeated several times is often inaccurately remembered and conveyed and does not resemble what was first said. Our memories are not infallible thus we perpetuate things which are not true. We should allow hurtful rumor to die (Prov. 26:20).

It assassinates character and makes innocent people suffer. Innocent people are not only labeled but also libeled without just cause. When we have participated in ruining someone's good name, we have rendered them a grave injustice (Prov. 22:1).

Gossip can destroy the local church or make its work very difficult. One man on a bulldozer in one short hour can pull down a sizable building that took many people much time to build. In like manner, one gossip can destroy in a very short time the years of labor good, honest have invested in building up the body of Christ.

It is usually one-sided, biased and extremely prejudicial (Prov. 18:17). Wrong conclusions are often reached when one hears only one side of a story. A gossip will tell you only what he wants you to hear.

It reveals a lack of love. How can one say that he loves his brother or sister in Christ and then proceed to tell and/or listen to all of the dirt about him that can be dug up? Can one "smear" a brother and love him at the same time?

It destroys friendship (Prov. 16:28; 17:9). Irreparable harm is often inflicted upon long-lasting relationships. The old hymn "Angry Words" states, "Love is much too pure and holy, Friendship is too sacred far, For a moment's reckless folly, Thus to desolate and mar."

*****************************************************

Gossiping is an ugly, ungodly, deceitful and soul-destroying habit that, if you have it, must be broken, repented of and replaced with words that edify (Eph. 4:29–32).

Delicious

                                                    

Buddha once said that just as we can know the ocean because it always tastes of salt, we can recognize enlightenment because it always tastes of freedom. There's no essential difference between real love and enlightenment. While many people see commitment as a trap, its healthy versions actually free both lovers, bring out the flavor of their true selves, and build a love that is satisfying, lasting, and altogether delicious

Identifying true love

                                                      

No theme is more popular in television and movies than LOVE. Soap operas are filled with “romantic love.” The subject of love is likewise the theme of most popular songs. We are bombarded with the idea, “Love is all that matters.”

In a secular magazine, a writer describes what most people think about romantic love:

“Love is a mysterious visitation which comes out of nowhere and into the here and now and takes hold of you—just like the measles…. It is recognized intuitively…. If it’s the real thing, you won’t have to be told. You will know without asking.

“Love is so important that you must give up everything else for it. A man is justified in giving up his wife for it, a woman is justified in abandoning her home and children for it, a king is justified in giving up his throne for it.

“It may go as unexpectedly as it came, and there is nothing you can do about that either. It is not, in any way, subject to human control.”

          

This is NOT real love! This is an infatuation. Real love does not act that way. An infatuation does indeed go as unexpectedly as it comes and there is little you can do about it. But real love is unselfish, committed love. It hangs in there!

You may wonder why it is so important that you know the difference between real love and infatuation. The reason is this: Knowing the difference can keep you from making a lifelong mistake.

Each year millions of starry-eyed couples walk down the aisle and solemnly commit themselves to love each other for the rest of their lives. For some of these couples, marriage will turn out to be a beautiful experience. For others, it will be something to be endured. But for half of them, it will be a disaster. In a few short years, they will discover that they simply cannot stand living together.

What makes the difference? Some couples are basing their marriage on real love. Others are basing theirs on infatuation, which is false love. A marriage based on infatuation will not last.

During the time of the Gold Rush, many prospectors thought they had “struck it rich.” But they found out later to their dismay, that what they had discovered was not real gold at all, but a worthless mineral named pyrite. Pyrite looks like gold, but it has no value at all. It is called “fool’s gold.”

It is NOT easy to tell the difference between infatuation and real love. In his book, Sex, Love or Infatuation: How can I Know?, Dr. Ray Short gives some valuable clues which enable a person to test his romance and determine if it is the real gold of true love or the “fool’s gold” of infatuation.

We are going to consider twelve of these clues, but first let us note two things: (1) The order of the clues is not important. One clue is just as important as the others. (2) No one clue can stand alone. You must take into account all twelve clues.

Real love: If your love is real, your interest is in the total personality of the one you love. There is the thrilling element of physical attraction, but it is only one of many things about the person that attract you. If it is real love, most of the qualities of the other person attract you. Each of us has a multitude of character traits, attitudes and interests. How many of these have you observed in the other person and how many do you find attractive?This is important because, when the initial excitement of being married wears off, you need a lot of common interests to keep your marriage alive and well.

Real love always starts slowly. It cannot be any other way. You have to know a person before you can truly love that person and that takes time—lots of time—to really know someone.

A long courtship is far better than a short one. One year is better than six months, two years better than one, three years better than two, and four better than three.

The statistics are absolutely clear on this subject. But most young people will not wait even one year. Many who rush into marriage learn by sad experience the truth of the old saying:Marry in haste, repent in leisure. If you make the mistake of rushing into marriage, you will have plenty of time to be sorry afterward. In real love your feelings are likely to be warm and tender instead of hot and cold, and they are more consistent. Real love grows slowly, but the roots grow deep.

If your love is real, the one you love will bring out your best qualities and make you want to be a better person. A fellow who was really in love said of his girl, “I love her, not only because she is so wonderful, but because she is such an encouragement to me to be the right kind of person.” In real love, you plan and prepare yourself for a successful future marriage.

In real love, your beloved is the most important person in the world to you, but your relationships with your family and friends continue to be important to you, and you do not neglect them.

In real love, chances are that your parents and most of your friends will approve of the relationship. To have God’s blessing on your marriage, it is very important that you have the consent and approval of both sets of parents.

In real love, absence makes your heart grow fonder of the one you love. Real love can and will survive the test of time and distance.

Real love is rooted in the other person’s total personality, not just their physical equipment. The time you spent together caused your personalities to “grow together.”

When you are separated, a part of you seems to be missing. Another person, however attractive, cannot fill the void in your heart. When you are separated, you may feel anxious as well as sad. The thought may come, “What if he or she meets somebody else?” That may happen, but if the one you love can be happier with someone else, it is better to find it out now and not after marriage. So if separation does come, accept it and don’t worry about it. If your relationship is an infatuation and does not survive, it is good that you found out about it before it was too late.

In real love, there will be disagreements, but real love will live through them. Quarrels will become less frequent and less severe. Every couple should learn how to handle conflicts. It is far better to discuss differences openly and frankly than to allow them to smolder under the surface.

In real love, the words commonly used are: we, our, us. You are thinking of yourselves as a unit.

This clue may not seem very important while you are dating, but it has major importance in marriage.

In a marriage based on infatuation, the husband and wife may find more pleasure in pursuing separate interests than in doing things together. The husband may want to go out with the guys rather than be at home with his family. Or the wife may be more interested in her social contacts than her duties at home. In a marriage where there is real love, husband and wife find their pleasure doing things together. The response is often, “I do not want to go unless you can go too.”

In real love, you love the person for what he or she is—not for what they can do to build your ego.

Real love is unselfish, committed love. You want to do all you can to bring happiness to the other person. Your overall attitude is that of giving to the relationship and not that of getting what you can out of it.

After reading these twelve clues, you probably have a good idea as to whether or not you are infatuated or really in love. However, you need to check it out more thoroughly.

Infatuation:

If you are infatuated, the main interest is likely to be the physical equipment of the other person. A pretty face and a lovely figure are powerful attractions, but looks can be deceiving. They are like the wrappings around a gift box—they do not tell you anything about what is inside. And physical beauty does not last forever.

In infatuation, the things that attract you are usually few in number, but they can be very appealing to you. A guy may be smitten by the way his girl smiles or the sexy way she walks.

Infatuations start fast. There is no such thing as real love at first sight, but there can be infatuation at first sight. The love songs say, “The eyes of the lovers meet across a crowded room, lights flash, and they just know that they are meant for each other.” Actually, they do not know anything except they have made a good first impression on each other.

In an infatuation, your interest in each other blows hot and cold. One reason for this is that your interest grew so fast that the roots are shallow. Your whole relationship is shallow.

 An infatuation has a disorganizing effect upon your personality. It makes you less efficient and less responsible. Your romantic feelings are in control and you walk around in a daydream. The girl who says, “I know he has his faults, but nothing really matters except the love which we have for each other,” is infatuated…PERIOD! If she marries him, she will find out in time that those “other things” do matter very much. In infatuation, your whole “universe” revolves around that other person. Other relationships do not seem very important to you. You tend to neglect your family and friends.

Your romantic infatuation becomes the most important thing in your life. It can become the only thing that really matters to you. You think you are justified in doing anything for this wonderful “love” that has come into your life. Most infatuations do not last long, but the wrong things you do when you are infatuated often have lifetime consequences.

 What other people think of your “beloved” is an important test. If you are infatuated, the chances are that your parents and many of your friends will not approve of the relationship.

One of the dangerous things about an infatuation is that you tend to idolize the other person. You do not see any faults, because you are “blindly in love.” Your friends try to point out danger signals to you, but you ignore them. Your parents may lovingly warn you that you are about to make a big mistake, but you will not listen to them.

A young person may say, “So what? We are marrying each other—not each other’s families and friends.” It is absolutely foolish to ignore the advice of people who love you.

Over the years both you and your beloved have acquired your own circles of friends. We all tend to become like those we choose as our friends and they tend to become like us. So your friends are, in a sense, a “mirror” of what you are like. You may be infatuated with the other person, but your friends are not. When they see danger signals, you should listen to them. 

 One of the best tests of a romance is the test of separation. If you are infatuated, time and distance will kill the relationship. This is particularly true if the couple has been mainly interested in each other’s physical equipment. After a while, a real, live somebody close by becomes more appealing than a photograph of a far away sweetheart.

In an infatuation, you quarrel often. You may do a lot of kissing and making up, but as time goes on, the quarrels become more frequent and more severe. Your relationship is like that of the two porcupines in freezing weather. When they were apart, they shivered from the cold and when they huddled together, they pricked each other.

In an infatuation, you tend to think of your relationship in terms of two people—you and the one you love. When talking about your activities, the words commonly used are: I, me, my, he, his, her, and hers. You are thinking of yourselves as two separate persons.

In infatuation, your interest in the other person is primarily selfish. A fellow may date a girl who is pretty and popular just to boost his ego. She may be selfish and demanding, but if she is the “queen” of the school, that makes him the “king” when he dates her. Likewise, a girl may keep a fellow “on the string,” not because she has any real interest in him, but because he is devoted to her and that builds up her ego.

Is it your goal to find the person who will devote his or her life to making you happy? Is your main concern to look out for Number One—namely yourself? If so, you are infatuated. Your overall attitude is selfish—you are mainly concerned about what you can get out of the relationship.

Examine each clue carefully. Take all the time you need. You will want to find out not only if a clue indicates that your love is real, but to what degree it indicates that. In most cases, the clue may indicate a mixture of infatuation and real love.